此生最重要的关系，待你修复

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此生最重要的关系，待你修复

人生在世，什么关系才是最重要的？我觉得有三类：一是人与人的关系，二是人与自然的关系，三是人与自我的关系。

What are the most important relationships in life? I believe there are three key types: interpersonal relationships, our connection with nature, and the relationship we have with ourselves.

儒家重视人与人的关系，强调君臣、父子、兄弟、夫妇、朋友五伦，并以忠、孝、悌、忍、善作为相处准则。西方文化探讨人与宇宙的关系，关注人对自然的认识，进而加以征服。

Confucianism attaches great importance to relationships among people, highlighting the five cardinal relationships—ruler to subject, father to son, elder brother to younger, husband to wife, and friend to friend. It also takes loyalty, filial piety, fraternal respect, forbearance, and kindness as principles of interaction. Western culture explores the relationship between humans and the universe, focusing on understanding nature and then conquering it.

而佛法是以认识自我为核心，认为只有看清人与自我的关系，才是人与人，乃至人与自然和谐相处的前提。如果一个人看不清自己，就难以降伏其心。这样的人，自然不容易接纳他人，善待他人。

Buddhism, on the other hand, centers on understanding the self, believing that only by clearly understanding the relationship with oneself can harmonious relationships among people and with nature be achieved. If a person cannot see themselves clearly, it is difficult to subdue their own mind. Such people naturally find it hard to accept and treat others kindly.

儒家讲究人伦，几千年来，对中国民众和社会有着巨大影响，渗透在生活的方方面面。但我们也看到，当这些伦理不是依托于对人性的认识，又缺乏公共道德为约束时，人际关系反而变得复杂，甚至虚伪。

Confucianism emphasizes human relationships, and for thousands of years, it has had a profound impact on Chinese people and society, permeating all aspects of life. However, we also observe that when these ethics are not based on an understanding of human nature and lack the constraint of public morality, interpersonal relationships can become complicated and even hypocritical.

一方面，人们视人伦为面子，多少需要顾及；一方面，又视人伦为负担，不愿真正投入。所以在与人相处时，更在乎的，往往是做给别人看的表面文章，于人于己都没有真实利益。

On the one hand, people regard human relationships as a matter of preserving social reputation, something they must take into account; on the other hand, they view these relationships as burdensome and are unwilling to fully commit to them. Therefore, when interacting with others, people often care more about superficial acts meant for others to see, which brings no real benefit to themselves or others.

在物质高度发达的今天，这种人伦的空心化，又使利益趁虚而入，成为人与人之间重要甚至唯一的链接，所谓“没有永远的朋友，只有永远的利益”。

In today’s world, where material wealth is abundant, the genuine substance of human relationships often erodes, allowing personal gain to become the important and sometimes the sole bond between individuals. As the saying goes, “There are no permanent friends, only permanent interests.”

西方文化强调二元对立、主客分离，以人类为主体，世界为客体。人对世界的认识，无非是为了使之更好地为自己服务。所以这种探索往往是单向、短视且不计后果的，在资源被大量开发和利用的同时，也造成生态环境的极剧恶化。

Western culture emphasizes dualism and the separation of subject and object, taking humanity as the subject and the world as the object. Human understanding of the world simply aims to make it serve us better. Therefore, such exploration is often one-sided, short-sighted, and reckless, causing severe ecological degradation during the massive exploitation and utilization of resources.

今天，我们常常感慨“现在的人怎么了，社会怎么了”，抱怨“不是我不明白，这世界变化快”。是的，人与人有着前所未有的疏离、防备和敌意，而人对世界的破坏，也到了难以逆转的地步。为什么会这样？

Today, we often reflect, “What’s wrong with people nowadays? What’s wrong with society?” and sigh, “It’s not that I don’t get it— it’s just that the world is changing too fast.” Indeed, there is unprecedented alienation, defensiveness, and hostility among people, and the damage humans have inflicted on the world has also reached an almost irreversible level. Why is this happening?

原因固然很多，但根源在于，不能处理好人与自我关系——我们不了解自己，没能使自己成为具有健康心态和品质的人。当这些充满迷惑和烦恼的个体相遇时，必然会因迷惑而相互纠缠，因烦恼而彼此冲突。进一步，还会引发团体、民族、国家的对立。

There are many reasons, but the root cause lies in our inability to manage the relationship with ourselves—we don’t understand ourselves and have not cultivated a healthy mindset and character. When individuals filled with delusion and afflictions interact, they inevitably become entangled and conflict with each other due to their delusion and afflictions. This further leads to opposition between groups, ethnicities, and nations.

所以说，由认识自我造就健康人格，提升生命品质，对未来社会极其重要。只有这样，才能从根本上优化人与人的相处，修复人与自然的裂痕。

Therefore, fostering a healthy character through self-understanding and enhancing the quality of life is crucial for the future of society. Only in this way can we fundamentally improve interactions between people and mend the rift between humans and nature.

摘自《认识自我的意义》

作者：济群法师

Excerpted from:

The Significance of Understanding the Self

By Master Jiqun

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